Many times I have developed skills or new styles to do work for a client, so it is no surprise that I found a connection between trying new things as a combination. As of late whether when dining alone or with someone I have taken to doodling or drawing. It is a way to disconnect myself from anything that may stop my creativity or connecting with those around me. After I found myself realizing that many of my eating habits held bad memories through my last relationship and the settings I take a great joy in making each time I eat into something that is a moment to highlight.
Great conversation is always a new highlight as oppose to the fear or concern I grew to know. A way for me to feel confidence within many settings I have found is to not be afraid to show my talents or abilities. This is what I know normal people do now and in fact is not to draw attention to yourself but to be part of any social circle and present values that some may not even be aware of. Thus after being invited by some friends to watch an anime with a group I set off to restore a style I had previously been fond of.
We are all now seeking acceptance more than ever after having felt so much rejection but we need real acceptance, real emotions, real attention and real love. Not something that is from pity or manipulation but genuine. So in reality when paired with transparency of whatever hang ups you had or whatever your abuser had convinced you of, your abilities will not hold much way for false admiration. Skills rarely overtake turmoil in a social setting and if they did then I am sure many talented art forgers would be celebrated instead of arrested. Thus do not be afraid that you are giving things for people to overlook your past or trauma. Own who you are and for many you will see that will prove who you to be; an amazing beautiful person.
JB
A Ghost Of Abuse 